A HEAVILY pregnant has been left floundering after her fiance of three years told her he “wants to go on a break”.
She explained that the pair had been in a good relationship until recently, as they’ve been suffering from a “lot of external stresses”, including a stalking and harassment case against a neighbour.
A woman has taken to Mumsnet to seek advice after her fiancé said he wants them go “go on a breakl”[/caption]
She used Mumsnet to try and get people’s opinions about her situation, with almost everyone telling her to “run”[/caption]
“In the past few months this has intensified and my partner has been trying to shoulder most of it so it doesn’t cause any issues with myself or the baby as we all know excessive stress can be harmful for babies development,” she wrote in the post on Mumsnet.
She added that she had noticed their relationship had “dwindled” and they are “more similar to being roommates at this stage rather than being in a supportive relationship”
Her fiance had sat her down recently and explained that he was struggling to stay on top of everything, and “couldn’t give me what I was needing”.
While he said he would have suggested her going to stay with family while he “sorted his head out”, they live two hours away and it wasn’t an option considering she’s 36 weeks pregnant.
“I had said that obviously wasn’t an option given my due date and I shouldn’t have to leave my home for him to ‘get better’, but I can understand that he needs to make some sort of change to feel more mentally well,” she continued.
They are now trialling “some sort of odd ‘separation’”, with him moving into the spare room, and saying “he doesn’t know if we should be together anymore and he wants to just see if he can ‘get himself back’ before the baby arrives”.
Things have become even more complicated by the fact that he’s “made a new friend”.
“I am usually a very tolerant, chilled out person so we can go and do separate things and I don’t mind,” she said.
“However, since he mentioned that he made this new friend (who is a female, again usually I wouldn’t have an issue with this) he has been hanging out with her every night after work, so finishing at 5:30, showered, changed and out the house for 6pm and then not home until 9pm some nights I’ve started feeling very sad, lonely, unwanted and jealous.
“I told him the other day I had resigned myself to knowing that it was over between us and I gave him my ring back.
“He had asked me to not give up on him and assured me this person was just a friend.
“She has no interest in a relationship as her fiance recently left her at the altar.”
But she said if it “was the other way around”, she wonders if he “would he like me spending lots of time with some attractive man while he couldn’t do things at home”.
And while she’s hoping that “everything will settle when the baby gets here”, she’s also well aware that “babies rarely keep people together”.
She concluded her post by asking for advice as to whether she should try and out “more boundaries in place” for the separation, such as using different bathrooms and not using terms of endearment.
But the majority of people in the comments section urged the woman to come to terms with the fact that her fiance may be cheating on her.
Here’s why I love being a young mum
Tracy Kiss, who fell pregnant at 19, has revealed what she believes are the pros of being a young mother.
The personal trainer and blogger, from Buckinghamshire, believes women who give birth in their teens make BETTER mothers than those in their 30s.
She claims young mums snap back into shape quicker, have more energy and relate more easily to their children, meaning they’re better behaved and happier.
Tracy told Fabulous: “Women who become first-time mums in their teens make better parents than those in their 30s or 40s.
“I believe if I’d been 10 or so years older before becoming a mother then I wouldn’t have the relationship I have with my children now.
“For a start, being older I would have had less energy and therefore less patience.
“I wouldn’t be as enthusiastic to speak to people after months of sleepless nights as I was in my teens.
“My body snapped back to its pre-pregnancy size through fitness post-birth, which in turn gave me the confidence to date and find love again. I’ve never been happier than I am now at the age of 30 with two children.
“If I’d have been alone at 40 with a newborn baby I’d be more tired, less happy with my body, less energetic and far more stressed from the shock of living my life for myself instead of putting others first. Sometimes age and the innocence of ignorance is a good thing.
“As a teen mum I just got on with it, found my feet and became responsible and capable because at the time I didn’t know any different.”
“Kick him out. He’s having an affair and you’re about to have a baby,” one wrote.
“You deserve better than this. I’m so sorry this is happening to you.”
“I think basically he’s fallen for someone else but realises if he admits that everyone will know he’s a b**tard,” another added.
“I’d get him out of the house. Get family to support you and plan for a life for you and the baby without him.”
“Tell him to f**k the f**k off, he’s treating you like s**t. How dare he?” a third raged.
“This is utterly ridiculous behaviour.
“Honestly, what is wrong with men?”
“He doesn’t get to be a Fairweather partner, he’s either all in or all out, he’s too old for all this f**king about and ‘finding himself’,” someone else agreed.
As another wrote: “Yeah he wants to see if this other relationship will work out before fully dumping you
“Bin him!”
