A MUM-OF-TWO received mixed responses after sharing her jealousy over her sister’s child-free lifestyle.
The woman explained her envy over the ability to book a solo holiday without worrying about her kids.
A mum-of-two received mixed reactions after sharing her envy over her sister’s child-free lifestyle (stock image)[/caption]
The young mum explained that she and her sister were close in age but had different family situations (stock image)[/caption]
In a post on Mumsnet, the unnamed user revealed that she and her sister are around the same age but with different family situations.
“My sister is a few years younger than me, [we’re] both [in our] late 30s, and has no children by choice,” she wrote.
The poster shared that every so often she finds herself feeling jealous of her sister’s lifestyle.
“She earns really good money and has decided to book a spontaneous last minute solo holiday this weekend,” she explained.
“I’m a mum-of-two and I couldn’t contemplate doing that.”
The mum added that she has appreciated trips with her kids but still experienced envy over her sister’s last minute holiday.
“I mean we have lovely family holidays obviously but I just got a pang of envy when she told me she’d booked a solo trip,” she said.
While the mum acknowledged that her sister was child-free by choice, she didn’t make any reference to people who struggle with infertility.
However, she did clarify that it was “just a fleeting ‘Oh I wish I could do that sort of thing’” feeling.
She also shared how grateful she was to have her two children in her life.
“I love my children immeasurably and would never be without them, being a mum is everything to me,” she said.
“It was just a moment of ‘Imagine being able to do that.’”
Mumsnet users shared their thoughts on the situation in the comments section.
“100s and 100s of decisions over years have led you to where you are today, so your situation is your choice,” wrote one reader.
“If you have serious envy, then that may mean you’ve made a series of stacked up bad decisions that have led to a place you don’t want to be in.
Why being the child-free friend isn’t as easy as everyone thinks
By Josie Griffiths, deputy digital Fabulous editor.
Josie Griffiths said: We get it, having kids is exhausting.
And yes, there are loads of benefits to not having them – weekend lie-ins, more disposable income, freedom to make your holidays all about you – which trust me I am aware of.
But as all your friends and family members start becoming parents, the truth is it’s not THAT easy being the one who hasn’t taken the plunge.
My girlfriends regularly tell me how their annual leaving is clogged up by parents calling first dibs on the entire summer, or fret that close mates won’t come to their wedding now they’re parents.
It’s not unfounded either, we had five friends, including one my husband was best man for before he started a family, drop out of our wedding citing sick kids and other child-related issues.
The truth is that once people have babies, life becomes all about them.
And while those babies are of course lovely and we dedicate many weekends to visiting them, there is sometimes a gnawing thought in the back of my mind, that we have become second-class citizens.
Not only are you the one constantly expected to adapt and evolve to children’s nap times and swimming lessons, but the things you care most about suddenly become “frivolous”, met with an eye roll and a “must be nice”.
As someone who really wants children myself, I hope this is a short-term pain, but if we experienced any sort of fertility issues I know this would be made 100 times harder.
I have friends who are in that position, and my heart breaks for them.
And I also have female friends who’ve decided not to have children, for very well-considered and thought out reasons, who shouldn’t ever be made to feel like their lives aren’t as important as anyone else’s.
When it comes to people who are child-free by choice, we all need to learn to celebrate their wins more – whether it’s renting their own flat on one income, getting the promotion, or taking a sabbatical to travel the world.
But there are downsides too, they’re just whispered over glasses of wine in restaurants and shared in private WhatsApp chats, instead of being plastered all over social media.
“If you are just talking about a minor sense of ‘Wish I could do that,’ then everyone has that from time to time because any situation has advantages and disadvantages.”
“What is unreasonable would be to treat them differently or act out on them because of the way you feel,” pointed out another person.
“You can acknowledge how you feel, while also realizing they are not doing anything wrong.”
“You chose your life as your sister chose hers,” commented a third Mumsnet user.
“I understand wanting to clock out of your responsibilities, two small child can be quite relentless and sleep deprivation doesn’t help,” said another commenter.
